Here's how bad you should feel if you lost money on Facebook. Even artists knew to stay away.

There is no sympathy in the Yang household for anyone losing money on the Facebook IPO. None. Nada. Not a smidge. If you got nailed and feel badly, here's another reason you should feel bad.

I don't know any illustrator who bought FB. Why should this make you feel bad? Let me list the reasons:

1) Our favorite investing approach is "chasing manias"

2) We loaded up on tech stocks in the 90's because we once did a drawing for Businessweek

3) We loaded up on global stocks in 2007 because we once did a drawing for Businessweek International.

4) Fidelity manager Peter Lynch killed us with the buy what you know approach. Artists know movies and music. Most artists feel they are too cool for Disney so they probably stayed away from Disney.  What's the best media stock? Disney.

5) Illustrators loaded up on Krispy Kreme because it is funny and retro to say you own a doughnut stock. It is even funnier to say you rode a doughnut stock up and down.

5)  Someone would have bragged about being reckless enough to dive in with both feet and getting blown up. Getting blown up means you're an artist who lives on the edge. This is excellent branding for an illustrator.

6) Most illustrators did own Apple. This is because we have the same turtleneck Jobs wore in our closet. It is a miracle illustrators didn't buy Facebook. Most illustrators have a hoodie in the closet next to the turtleneck. Maybe it's because Zuckerberg doesn't look like he belongs in a hoodie. Artists hate poseurs.

Another reason no one bought Facebook is because we're bad at math and couldn't figure out how they make gobs of money.

Wow.

This should really make you feel like a village idiot if you got burned.

We accidentally stayed out for the best reason of all.

This denying yourself stuff is overrated

Last week an email popped in from a friend who was moving to Thailand and needed to sell his stuff. Normally I would discard these emails but this was an exception for the following reasons:

1) He is German
2) He is an illustrator like myself.
3) He has a very strong design aesthetic and will not settle for CRAP

If there is one lesson to be learned in life, learn that Germans with a strong design sense have the best stoop sales.

On the list was an Eiermann desk. The Eiemann desk is a 1953 design from a German architect. As you know, it is a requirement for creatives in the 21st century to be fans of mid century design. Fortunately I called in time and the table was mine. When I went to pick it up, it was in several pieces. He had a small envelope with nuts and bolts. I asked if there were any installation instructions.

He said no. Just looking at it would be explanation enough.

I had doubts but he said relax. Just place the pieces on the floor, clear my mind, and use my inner eye. The answers would come. When I got home, I did has he said.

It worked.

The table was up in a very short time. The surface is custom made from high quality plywood and the size is perfect. After arranging everything, it fit so well it seemed like this desk had been waiting its whole life for ME.

All this time I had settled for desks that were good enough. My first desk was a large desk from Staples that looked like it belonged on the set of "Office Space". Even with art stuff on it, it had a mid level manager feel. The next desk was a smaller desk from IKEA that looked great but felt like a toy. Working on it felt like you were ten and playing make believe.

The Eiermann desk is the kind the desk I had dreamed about. It doesn't feel like a desk. It feels like a workspace you use if you are a BADASS artist.

I had been an idiot all these years settling for crap.

If you will excuse me, I need to stretch my arms.

92 inches of desk is hard to hug.

Wow. Did I take the 90's for granted.

A friend and I were reminiscing about the tech boom in the 90's since we worked for a lot of the same clients. He did media placement and I did illustrations. Since he personally worked with Steve Jobs and did stints at Pixar and Disney, his stories were way more interesting than mine.

What became clear is how much the tech boom distorted illustration. Looking back, it was an insanely good time to be an illustrator. I don't talk about this with my students graduating from Parsons since I don't want them to stick their heads in a gas oven.

Here are clues to the insanity:

1) Clients would call and you would turn them down because you were booked. They would call back in a couple of hours begging because EVERYBODY was booked. Often they would double the budget so you would reconsider.

2) Once had a client accidentally pay twice for a project. It was for $2500. I called the client to let them know and asked where to return the check. Client said they would get back in touch. They later called and told me to keep it because it would be a pain in the ass to correct the mistake.

3) Computers for graphics were very expensive in the 90's. One of my Macs with ram upgrades and a new monitor cost $14000. Sometimes I would buy a new computer just because my current one was dirty.

4) Illustrators who SUCKED were making six figures a year without effort. If you were a village idiot and an illustrator in the 90's, no worries. Six figures was doable.

5) Magazines had so much ad money from tech companies they didn't have enough content to justify ad pages. You would be called to fill up blank pages.

6) Every illustrator I knew invested in tech stocks. Everybody. You would wake up each day worth thousands more and get a spare thousand or two popping up in commissions in addition to work you already booked for the whole month. You would be stressed because you were sure everybody else was doing better than you.

7) No matter what crazy number you threw out for a project, you were wondering if you underbid.

8) You did not want to be President of the United States because you did not want a pay cut.

When it came to an end it was stunning.

A couple years later a client accidentally paid twice for a reuse. The amount was $200. They called and asked if I could return the payment.

I did and made a mental note.

It was time to clean the computer more regularly.

Okay, maybe the dollar is worth less.

Last summer, a friend gave the Yangs a Dahon Vitesse D7i bike. Since I HATE TO SHARE, I recently bought a Dahon MU P8 so we could ride together this summer.

The bike cost $799.

I was shocked.

I'm not shocked at the price. I'm shocked this is considered a mid range bike. Seems like $1000 is where you start talking about nice bikes.

In 1971, my parents decided I was old enough for a 10-speed. I spent forever researching bikes and knew the deal. If you wanted a decent bike, you were looking around a hundred dollars. If you wanted to push your luck, $250 was the range. If you wanted your Korean parents who lived through two wars to mercilessly beat you for being delusional,  you asked for a bike costing more than $300.

I chose a red stripped down Flandria 10-speed which was considered a great bike for the price. It cost $109.

That is what the Mu P8 is considered. It's a bargain for the price. It's a very fun bike and has very nice components but c'mon. The Flandria bike was the bike of European cyclists. I'm talking the Tour de France guys.

If you will excuse me, it's time call my agent and discuss a new negotiating tactic.

I'm thinking "a great price for this kind of illustration" argument could be a winner.

What the hell happened, Yangblog?

I know it's been a long time. Since the last post was about NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS, it has been a really long time. This is what happens when the world changes on you. 

Yangblog World started as a window into my world. Then Facebook happened which is the mother of all windows into people's worlds. Add Twitter where I can be a smartass 140 characters at a time and it became hard to figure out what to do with Yangblog World. 

Yesterday I was telling Mrs Yangblog it was time to end Yangblog. 

Today someone asked why I haven't written. They want to see more. Naturally this must be a sign from FORCES GREATER THAN MYSELF that the world will end if I stop.

Lemme figure out what can be said here that can't be said elsewhere and is actually worth reading.

Just in case follow me on Twitter.

Trust me. There is plenty of funny there.

I've got your resolutions right here.

Don't know about you, but I'm sick of the Mayans. Not only do they say 2012 is the year the world ends, but it happens the day before my birthday. Every day of 2012 is going to be a giant eff you to the Mayans to make this the best year ever. Here is how it's going to happen:

1) Just came back from Hong Kong. Abby says friends really enjoyed hanging out with me. I don't speak Cantonese so her friends have to make an effort to speak English. Listening to a person talk in a second language is tiring so I talk A LOT less, blend in the background, listen to others and asked how they are doing. That's why they liked hanging out with me.  Going to remember I'm not that interesting.

2) Not going to beat myself up endlessly. I know that's how Koreans roll, but whatever I'm doing wrong isn't THAT fatal. I will change stuff if I do fall flat on my face. This does not apply to golf.

3) Speaking of falling flat on my face, If this happens, I'm going to try again and not bellyache it can't be done. It can be done. It just has to be done differently.

4) Make art I want to make, not what I think others want me to make. The irony is whenever I do this, clients are very happy.

4) Invite friends more often to have pie at the badass pie shop in the neighborhood. Eating pie anytime is nice, but it's nicer to share a stupid pie-smeared grin with company.

5) Complain openly about bad trades and keep quiet about good trades. Just figured out this is what Mr. Market wants. One friend bragged constantly this year. Mr. Market gave him the prison girlfriend treatment. It was ugly but fun to watch.

6) Just cracked up at my "prison girlfriend" joke. Going to use that line more often.

7) Know the difference between alternate viewpoints and denial.  Respect alternate viewpoints. Call out people in denial. Mercilessly mock those who mistakenly call out people with alternate viewpoints when they are the one in denial.

8) Speaking of calling out, going to call out those wearing MC Hammer pants. That trend is trying to make a comeback. If the Mayans are right, I'm not spending the last year of humanity looking at MC Hammer pants.

9) If the MC Hammer trends persists, I'll give in and buy a pair.

10) Wear the MC Hammer pants on December 22nd. If the Mayans are right, everyone will blame the pants.

Notes From Hong Kong: This is going to hurt if you're a Fox Newstard.

Wow.

Have run into this a couple of times already and it happens when meeting people who travel abroad for business. If you have an American accent, you are suspect. You have to clear a couple of hurdles: 1) Are you from New York? If yes, go to 2) Are you a banker? 3) Do you educate yourself by listening to Fox News?

If you answer these questions wrong, you are pegged as an imbecile.

When I first came to Hong Kong in the Nineties, if you had and American accent, people warmed to you immediately.

Don't cry.

It is what it is.

Notes From Hong Kong: Twit at my 9 o'clock.

While happily downing a rice bowl of ginger and grilled pork in a crowded food court in Kwun Tong, I heard someone clear his throat. A tall gentleman with a handlebar mustache, umbrella, looking like a stand in for John Cleese from Faulty Towers was standing at my table. He looked overwhelmed. He asked if he could sit.

I said sure, be my guest.

He just stood there.

I said no problem, have a seat.

He looked slightly annoyed and said, "I'm sorry, I don't understand your English. Is it okay for me to sit?"

He said it with an American accent. It is understandable why there could be confusion. I have a Midwestern accent which nobody ever hears in AMERICA. He had thin sliced and in his blank frightened ironically mustached head predetermined that I did not speak English. I did the only reasonable thing you could do.

I pretended not to speak English.

I pointed to the chair like Slingblade and he sat down. He had ordered a burger and fries. We exchanged looks and I did the awkward smiling and nodding thing, looking at his burger, looking back at him, then smiling and nodding again. I made sure to stretch it out so the whole experience was ETERNAL.

He looked back nervously, quickly downed his burger and left.

Maybe I was a dick. It wouldn't hurt to cut him some slack. I should have told him to try the Chinese sausage.

I hate Chinese sausage.

Notes From Hong Kong: 2011 Edition

Once again it's time to move the studio to Hong Kong for a month, spend time with Abby's family, and become my own little outsourcing operation. Still clearing the cobwebs as Abby has been furiously scheduling time with friends who want to see me.  She as no idea why I am so popular.

I do.

It's because I don't speak Cantonese.

I'm much more charming when my mouth is shut. The glassy eyed look I have from jet lag adds a mysterious quality. Mrs. Yang smoothing out my asinine comments in translation also doesn't hurt. It's nice to know there is something else I'm good at besides illustrating. I'm a savant when it comes to being arm candy for Mrs Yang.

Abby tells me we have friends to see in a couple of days.

I better start doing sit-ups.

Stuff I think I know.

It looks like I'll be lecturing at Parsons this spring semester about professional practices. I've always enjoyed teaching on the college level. It gets you out of the studio. You learn how to focus your thoughts and not ramble like the aunt you dread visiting every holiday. Fewer things are as rewarding as seeing the light go in a student's head because you've found a way to connect. At the American Illustration party last week, I had the chance to meet a couple of students who asked about my course.

I told them they were going to learn stuff they don't know. This is what I do know if you don't want your dreams to DIE:

1) Don't worry what others are doing. Creatives are competitive, but if you constantly compare yourself to others, you will go insane. Live in your own little artist bubble and try to do something better than you've done before. You will be surprised how fast you grow.

2) This is a contradiction, but compare yourself to others. You want to make sure you are not getting left in the dust. Some of my best growth has come from going to openings and CRAPPING IN MY PANTS because the art was so good.

3) I know there are divas, but less than 1 percent can pull off the diva act. Unfortunately, most artists think they ARE the 1 percent. Just to play it safe, don't be a dick until you are sure. I remember an art director choosing illustrators for a project. She passed over one illustrator who was crazy good because he was a pain in the ass. My dickish ways decreased dramatically after seeing this.

4) Learn to say yes.

5) Learn to say no.

6) Learn to say "I don't know" if you don't know.

7) Say you can do it even if you can't. Learn how to do it on the fly and do it well. The amount of confidence you will get if you can pull it off is HUGE. It will serve you well for the rest of your career.

8) Don't act desperate. Clients like to work with winners. Clients are not Oprah. They are not trying to save anybody.

9) It's okay to make mistakes. Just don't make the same mistake twice. This is also a quote from "Breaking Bad". What a great show. Don't miss it.

10) Persistence is more important than talent. I know many talented people who couldn't cut it because they gave up too easily. If you are talented and persistent, you are going to be a badass.

Even if you're a badass, don't act like a diva.

A bigger badass is just around the corner.

Everybody keeps asking what Occupy Wall Street wants. Here's what they want.

People keep asking what the Occupy Wall Street crowd wants. Below are two videos that sum it up concisely. Personally, I am surprised the protests have staying power and seem to be growing. I guess what we learned in science class about a strong action (Tea Party) having an equally strong and opposite reaction (Occupy Wall St) is true. They are both visceral reactions to the meltdown.

Friends know I have more than a casual interest in the markets and many past and present clients are based in finance. The nicest compliment came from an editor from Institutional Investor Magazine who said they would always call me if they didn't understand the article. Who are institutional investors? They're the guys who won't pick up the phone if you're worth less than a 100 million. Since the meltdown in 08 I have became more interested in the technical and macro aspects of the market because most advisers for regular people are FULL OF SHIT.

In Wall St, you have two kinds of participants in the market. Smart money and dumb money.

The biggest irony of the Tea Party/Occupy Wall St coin is the macro smart money guys agree with many of the goals of Occupy Wall Street when it comes to financial reform and the wealth gap. When smart money guys talk about the Tea Party, it is usually with derision.

Bet however you want.

I prefer running with the smart money.

(Thanks to Bill Alger for the find)

Goodbye Mr Jobs. Thanks for my career. That's a pretty nice gift.

(From the home page at Apple.com)

Why do I say Mr Jobs gave me my career?

In the 90's my career as an illustrator was roaring along with a painting style. Clients were constantly calling and my agent couldn't be happier. I was painting and collaging to my heart's desire. Then something happened. 

The work hit a creative ceiling. My painting had gone as far as it could go. Art became a chore.

I started playing around with the Mac and the intuitiveness made experimenting fun. The technology kept improving which made it easier for creatives. Frankly, I was lazy when it came to painting. Once a path was decided in painting, that was it. It was too much work to backtrack and try a different idea. The Mac freed me from this excuse. Experimenting with options and compositions were a click away. You could save multiple versions of the same image. It was like a visual diary of your process. The work broke through a ceiling.

I remember when Jobs was forced out of Apple the first time. They were getting hammered in the marketplace. A string of execs started sucking the life out of a Mac. All the Apples were ugly beige boxes with an operating system that was getting dated. It looked like Apple was going to go out of business.

My illustrator friends and I were freaking out. If Apple went out of business, we were going to have to use Windows which were clunky for creating art. I told my friends eff it. If Apple dies, I'm giving up digital art and going back to painting.

Then Jobs came back. 

Man did he come back. He made Jonathan Ive head of design. First those ugly beige boxes were replaced by colorful plastic machines that had a retro future thing going on. Next came the minimal design which looked like works of art in your studio. The operating system developed from Job's time at NeXT was genius. I remember when the first cinema display shipped. Receiving it was like Christmas Day for the first time and I couldn't stop staring at it. It looked like the effing future. It was FUN AS HELL to create art on an Apple.

The other day I heard from an art director I've worked with for years. She said she really likes how the work has grown since the 90's.

Thanks Mr Jobs. 

Couldn't have done it without you.

You will be missed.